Work isn't work if you are having fun.
Dear Elin,
I’m contributing to a series of letters from “Leaders” to their Daughters. As I write this, you are about two months away from finishing fourth grade. What an amazing young woman you have already turned in to and I can’t wait to see the kind of impact you will have on this world as you grow up! I am so proud of you and I love you so very much.
At ten years old, you are already conversationally fluent in mandarin and have no problem visiting your grandparents, cousins and relatives in China, most of whom don’t speak any English. You’ve even gone to summer camp the last three summers in Beijing, which shows how confident you are with your mandarin. You love reading and writing and you have already written your first “chapter book” in English, which you are hoping to publish this summer. And you love sports! I’m so excited you are now swimming on a swim team, along with playing soccer! You really are such an awesome young woman!
I’m not one who usually “tells you what to do.” But, I do have some "fatherly advice" really based more on my own experience and the ability to look in the "rearview mirror" over my 60+ years. So, some advice from your Dad:
1. Pick your life partner very carefully.
It is BY FAR the single most important decision you will make. And, although "reversing" a bad marriage is doable through divorce, it's not any fun and you will live with it the rest of your life. Take your time and find the person who you truly believe is meant for you; who you know will love you forever, who has a kind heart and truly cares about you and others. Do not rush in on your most important decision in life.
2. Take good care of yourself.
There is a saying that "my body is my temple." Live a clean, healthy lifestyle. Eat healthy. Exercise daily. Get enough sleep (shoot for eight hours). It sounds easy. It's not -- especially when your career, or family, or both, begin to demand more from you. You will always have reasons to push off exercising, but it is movement that keeps us going. Never compromise your own well-being -- you only have one body and one life -- take care of it, and it will take care of you!
3. Be "humble, hungry and smart."
(I love this concept, which comes from a Pat Lencioni book). Humility goes a long way in this world. Live the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. Be "hungry" -- don't "settle." Always be looking for new challenges and new things to take on. Never stop growing or learning. Remember, trying something and failing but learning from it is probably still better than never trying, and never learning. Failure is only making the same mistake twice.
4. Work isn't work if you are having fun.
When it comes time for you to decide what you want to do for your career, pick something you enjoy. If you love it, you will be good at it. And if you are good at it, everything else will take care of itself. Too many people choose their careers based on how much money they can make. But doing something just to make a lot of money won’t necessarily make you happy and it is no guarantee that you will be successful. And, I suspect other than not being happy in a marriage, nothing could be worse than hating your job. So, follow what you love and the rest will take care of itself.
I know that you are going to have an amazing life and do something meaningful and make a difference in this world. Keep having a growth mindset, stretching yourself in school and in other activities. Don’t be afraid to try new things and learn from them. You never know what you’ll love and what you won’t until you’ve tried them. I love you and will always be here for you, no matter what!
Love,
Dad (and Mom!)