You Are Your Own Best Guide
Dear Charlotte and Claire,
Like all parents do, your mom and I offer you a lot of parental advice. Some of it is very practical and sometimes annoying, like “remember to take your rain coat.” But other advice is more meaningful, aimed at helping you find your way in this confusing world and encouraging you to think about what kind of person you want to be. It is the stuff we hope you will remember all your lives and will shape the women you will become.
But before I offer my “greatest hits” of advice, let me first share the most important message: how much I love you. You may never fully understand the dimensions of that love, but just know this: I am here for you, no matter what. All I want for you is everything you could ever hope for, and I will do whatever I can to help you find your way.
On to the “greatest hits”:
Be kind. I saw a banner at your school that read “kind is the new cool.” It made me smile, thinking that our society might just be making progress. But, even if kind weren’t considered cool, it would be what we hope most for you, as you define who you are and how you present yourselves to the world. Kindness is its own reward and, if practiced every day in good times and in bad, will spread to those around you. The more you consider others, show up with a smile, and lend a helping hand, the more the world will find it easy to do the same for you.
Always try. The most worthwhile things in life usually require focus and effort, and sometimes it would be easiest just to give up and go for something easier. But don’t give up. Fight through and enjoy the sunlight on the other side. You will be glad you did.
Believe in yourselves and trust your instincts. You will always be your own best guide, especially if you always aspire to be the best version of yourself. How others perceive you may seem important, especially when it’s your teacher, boss or friend. But I hope you will come to believe that it is what you think of you and your choices that really matters in the end. Be true to you and trust where that leads. The right people and opportunities that are aligned with the real you will come along. It took me many years to understand this, and I believe this is one of the keys to a happy and fulfilling life.
I am so excited for both of you and your very different paths. But as different as those paths might be, please remember: there is no person on earth closer to you than your sister. Be there for her, inspire her, and be inspired by her. Most people come to learn that there’s nothing more important than family, and I hope you will support each other for the rest of your lives.
I love you more than words can say, and I’m already proud of the amazing women you are becoming.
Dad
About Curtis Butler
Curtis Butler is a Managing Director at J.P.Morgan Asset Management.