To Becoming Much Better Version(s) of us...

To Becoming Much Better Version(s) of us...

My darlings M+S,

Let me start with what I don’t wish on you (and reminding myself of the pitfalls I don’t want to fall into). I will try not to impart some universal truth or dogma on you. I sure hope I don’t encumber you with my biases and limitations. I also don’t want to obligate you with my unfulfilled dreams and visions of grandeur. And I will not wish upon you some version of eternal happiness or some Utopian existence - because that would not be reality.

As parents, as a father, I want to be your top supporter & cheerleader - a lighthouse as you chart the ocean of life. I don’t want to become an anchor pretending to be a compass. My quest and our success will be to equip you to become a better version of us.

Let me explain what I mean. On “the quest to equip you”: As pragmatic people, we have to accept that we cannot guarantee anything, we can leave you an inheritance, we can send you to fancy schools, we can open doors for you. I would rather make our role a constant journey, not a pre-conceived set of milestones determined by the current norms. I want to open to you the different ways to fish, pick the way(s) that work for you… but never fish for you. And for us to adapt and let go as we get older together.

On “becoming a better version of us”: We cannot determine your definitions of success, the ways of life that will appeal to you or influence your choices to align with ours. We are not perfect humans and possibly don’t even know what perfect humans look like or if there is one. But if we commit to help you become better than us, we have made progress. And it just not better than me or your mom and not just the best parts of us, but a better version of your grandparents, your aunts and uncles and all the role models that have influenced us. Our success will truly be making the next generation.

No previous generation can predict well what the better version of them could be or have the strength to get there by themselves. By the time (if ever) we recognize our biases, flaws and limitations, we may not have the resolve to make the change. You two offer us that opportunity not to influence you, direct you, mold you but to help you become everything you can be and want to be… your way. We will always be here for you and finding joy in seeing you become amazing women.

With all of my heart- Your dada- R